Check out some of these astonishing excuses for missing work.

I recently ran across some truly astonishing excuses for missing work. You’d think with unemployment the way it is (6.5%, according to today’s announcement), people would be more motivated to stay on their boss’ good side.

Check these out:

• Employee didn’t want to lose the parking space in front of his house.
• Employee hit a turkey while riding a bike.
• Employee said he had a heart attack early that morning, but that he was “all better now.”
• Employee donated too much blood.
• Employee’s dog was stressed out after a family reunion.
• Employee was kicked by a deer.
• Employee contracted mono after kissing a mailroom intern at the company holiday party and suggested the company post some sort of notice to warn others who may have kissed him.
• Employee swallowed too much mouthwash.
• Employee’s wife burned all his clothes and he had nothing to wear to work.
• Employee’s toe was injured when a soda can fell out of the refrigerator.
• Employee was up all night because the police were investigating the death of someone discovered behind her house.
• Employee’s psychic told her to stay home.

The best excuse I ever heard first-hand was: “I’m going to stay home tomorrow because I’m going to have diarrhea.” The employee in question gave this announcement before leaving work the previous day. It still makes me chuckle.

What are some of the best missed-work excuses you’ve heard (or provided!)? Please share them with us by entering a comment below.

Links

• "The Most Ridiculous Excuses for Missing Work"
• "Job Losses Mount: 1.2 Million in ''08"